February 20
Before the Small Lie
Someone asks whether we have finished a task. We say almost, although we have hardly started. The answer comes quickly, followed by a plan to work fast enough to make it true. We may think the problem is poor organization. Underneath it, there may be a fear of disappointing people that makes a small lie seem easier than an ordinary admission.
Looking at that fear helps us understand the dishonesty without excusing it. We want to keep our standing, perhaps especially with someone whose opinion matters. Yet protecting the impression leaves the other person making plans from false information. Step Seven describes how fear sets other defects in motion. Seeing that connection gives us more to bring to God than another promise to organize ourselves better. We need help bearing the possibility of disapproval while telling someone what they actually need to know. The admission might be awkward and still leave both people better informed.
What reaction am I trying to prevent when I shade the truth?
The task is unfinished; that is the useful information.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Seven; As Bill Sees It, No. 22, “Fear as a Steppingstone.”