February 21
The Familiar Worry
A new situation brings a strangely familiar worry. Different people are involved, the circumstances have changed, yet we are once again convinced that we will be left with nothing. It is discouraging to recognize an old fear after years of recovery. We thought understanding it would mean no longer having to hear from it.
Recurrence need not erase what we have learned. We may recognize the fear sooner, tell someone before it hardens into accusation, or avoid making a promise we cannot keep merely to feel secure. Those differences matter even when the feeling is old. An inventory can reveal a recurring demand for certainty that no particular person or arrangement could satisfy completely. We still have practical needs to consider. We also have a familiar place to seek God's help, with less surprise and perhaps less shame than before. Knowing the fear's history may keep us from mistaking it for a fresh discovery about our future.
What do I recognize sooner now when an old fear returns?
I have company with this familiar trouble.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “How It Works,” pp. 67–68; As Bill Sees It, No. 22, “Fear as a Steppingstone.”