December 27
Still on the Receiving End
After years of helping other people, needing help ourselves can feel like a demotion. We know the language. We have answered the late calls. Surely we ought to be able to handle this without becoming the person who needs an extra conversation. We may keep giving good advice while becoming harder and harder to reach about what is happening in our own life.
The Steps do not divide the Fellowship into permanent givers and permanent receivers. Our ability to be useful grew in company with people who helped us, and it still needs that company. Admitting confusion does not cancel the help we gave last week. It brings us back into an honest relationship with the people beside us. Someone newer may remind us of something we have forgotten. Someone familiar may hear what we were afraid to say. Accepting either kindness lets fellowship remain mutual instead of becoming a position we defend.
What help am I reluctant to receive because I have become accustomed to being the helpful one?
We are members before we are anybody's example.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, pp. 108–109, 111–114.