December 23
Love Has More Than One Address
Talk about practicing recovery at home can leave someone wondering where they fit. They live alone, have no partner, or are separated from family for reasons that cannot be wished away. A kitchen table surrounded by loved ones may be a painful picture rather than an available opportunity. A useful life ought not to depend on having that particular arrangement.
Step Twelve makes a place for lives outside marriage and family as well as within them. Friendship, neighbors, work, and the Fellowship bring real relationships with real claims on our attention. Living alone does not mean living without anyone affected by our conduct. Nor does usefulness require filling every quiet hour with service to escape loneliness. We can acknowledge what we miss and value what is actually here. The person with whom we share an ordinary conversation deserves the same consideration we might imagine offering in a different life.
Which relationships in my actual life deserve more attention than the life I imagine I should have?
This life has people in it too.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, p. 120.