December 21
One More Yes
An invitation to help comes at the end of a crowded week, and we hear ourselves agreeing before considering who will live with the consequences. The evening was already promised to someone else. We tell ourselves that service is important, which is true. We may leave out the fact that saying yes in this conversation feels easier than honoring a quieter commitment made earlier.
Practicing recovery in all our affairs includes the people who keep adjusting around our generosity. They may be pleased that we are useful and still reasonably want the time we promised them. An A.A. commitment does not automatically outrank every other obligation. There will be emergencies and difficult choices; there will also be ordinary invitations we are free to decline. Looking honestly at the whole week can reveal whether our willingness is being offered from our own time or repeatedly borrowed from somebody else's expectations.
Whose existing claim on my time becomes invisible when I am eager to say yes?
An earlier promise still counts.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, pp. 111–112.