December 20
The Dishes Still Need Doing
We finish something ordinary and immediately wonder whether anyone noticed. The dishes are done, the errand is handled, the room is ready. Surely a little appreciation is reasonable. It is. But if the lack of it spoils the whole act, there may have been another task underway: arranging for someone to tell us what a considerate person we have become.
The generosity described in Step Twelve reaches into these ordinary exchanges. At home, that can be harder than it sounds. Shared work deserves fair arrangements; nobody needs to become the permanent, silent servant of the household. Within a fair share of responsibility, though, some things will be done without applause. Their usefulness survives that silence. The clean cup is there when somebody reaches for it. We may find a quieter satisfaction in having contributed to a life we share, without keeping the completed chore on display until it has been properly admired.
What happens to my willingness when an ordinary contribution goes unremarked?
The cup is clean either way.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, pp. 106, 116.