December 6
What the Purchase Promises
Before we buy it, the thing seems to promise more than its ordinary use. A new jacket offers confidence. A better phone suggests a more orderly life. Something expensive might finally make us feel we have caught up with people we envy. There is nothing unusual about wanting useful or beautiful things. The trouble begins when an object receives an assignment it cannot possibly fulfill.
We may recognize a familiar wish to change our feelings quickly. Sobriety allows us to become curious about that wish before obeying it. What are we hoping will feel different after the purchase? The answer might reveal a genuine need for companionship, rest, or reassurance that deserves direct attention. We remain free to buy the jacket if it fits our circumstances. We are also free to stop asking it to settle a question about our worth that no wardrobe has ever answered for long.
What feeling am I expecting a possession to provide or remove?
The jacket is still just a jacket.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, pp. 120–122.