November 28
When Thanks Are Missing
A list of people who helped is read aloud, and our name is missing. The omission might be accidental, but our attention sticks there. We hear little of what follows. By the time we leave, a worthwhile effort has become a story about being unappreciated. It is surprising how quickly one missing sentence can change our account of an entire afternoon.
There may be a fair reason to correct the record, especially if practical responsibility is unclear. Still, we can notice how much of the hurt concerns public recognition. We know what we gave. The people helped received it before the list was read. Step Twelve's invitation to give without demanding a return can reach this tender, ordinary place. Appreciation is pleasant, and its absence sometimes stings. Neither fact has to decide whether our willingness was worthwhile or whether we will remain available.
What meaning have I given an omission that I have not actually checked?
The contribution happened before the thanks.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, pp. 106, 109.