November 4
You Handled That Well
Someone chairs a difficult discussion with patience. We notice how they give an interrupted member another chance to speak and bring the room back to the question. Afterward, we almost say something, then decide they probably know they did well. We are often much quicker to mention what needs correcting than to name a strength someone could keep developing.
A.A. needs people willing to lead, and some of them are unsure they have anything to offer. Specific encouragement can help a person recognize an ability they have already used. It asks less of them than a grand declaration that they are destined for important things. We can describe what helped us and leave them free to decide how they will serve. There is care in noticing competence without immediately turning it into another assignment. A person may carry a few honest words of encouragement into responsibilities we will never see.
What useful quality have I noticed in someone without ever telling them?
A few specific words of thanks would be enough.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept IX.