November 3
Enough to Move Forward
The arrangement under discussion gives us most of what we hoped for. It also includes a concession we dislike. We could accept it, but a familiar thought appears: if the idea is right, why should we have to give anything up? Soon a workable agreement begins to feel like defeat because it is less complete than the one we imagined.
Concept Nine speaks candidly about the difficulty of compromise for alcoholics accustomed to all or nothing. Some convictions do require firmness. Other preferences can bend without harming what matters. The difficult work is telling them apart in the actual circumstances, with help when our pride makes everything look essential. A compromise deserves examination on its merits, including whom it helps and what it costs. We may discover that enough progress is available for now. Accepting it leaves us responsible for what follows, rather than permanently congratulating ourselves on the perfect position we refused to leave.
Which part of my position protects a principle, and which part protects my preference?
The agreement need not contain everything I wanted.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept IX.