November 5
The Conversation We Never Had
By the time a service commitment falls apart, several people may be sure somebody broke an agreement. One thought the room was booked. Another thought we were still deciding. Nobody remembers saying those things out loud. We may be ready to take an inventory of everyone's reliability before we have established what anyone actually agreed to do. Good intentions have carried us into different versions of the same afternoon.
There is something humbling about going back to plain facts. It means giving up the satisfaction of having already identified the careless person. Clear communication can seem less spiritual than a discussion of trust, yet it gives trust somewhere to stand. We need enough information to carry our responsibilities and enough freedom to ask when we are confused. An ordinary conversation about who is doing what can spare people a resentment they never earned.
Where have I been treating an assumption as an agreement?
The question may be simpler than the grievance.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept IX.