September 16
Nothing Else to Buy
A person can arrive in A.A. expecting an angle. Perhaps previous offers of help carried obligations that were mentioned only afterward. Perhaps their own generosity has sometimes been a way to get something. They may listen cautiously, waiting for the request for money, the religious argument, or the pressure to join someone else's enterprise. Suspicion may be the best protection they know.
A clear primary purpose lets us offer help without adding a second transaction. We share about recovery, and the listener remains free to take time, ask questions, or disagree. Their interest in sobriety does not owe us support for anything else. This can be surprisingly reassuring even when they remain doubtful about A.A. We do not have to overcome all their suspicion in one conversation. We can let the absence of a hidden bargain become something they gradually discover for themselves.
What might make an offer of help feel uncomplicated to its receiver?
Nothing else needs to be bought or believed before we offer help.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Five, pp. 151–154.