August 20
The Chair We Share
We have a favorite place in the meeting. Sitting there helps us settle, and friends know where to find us. One evening somebody else takes it. Nothing important has been lost, yet a surprising little grievance appears. The room has quietly acquired private territories in our minds. We begin to notice how much of belonging we have confused with having things arranged for us.
Tradition One brings ordinary preferences into contact with a shared life. The group exists for each of us, and none of us is its sole reason for existing. Giving up a preferred seat is a small matter, but small matters can reveal the habits we bring to larger decisions. Some needs deserve specific accommodation; every preference need not become a right. We can enjoy the comfort of familiarity while remembering that another person's comfort belongs in the room as well.
Where have I mistaken a familiar privilege for something the group owes me?
Another member is sitting where recovery has helped me.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition One.