August 19
A Sadness We Cannot Explain
A sober friend receives bad news. We want to believe their faithful work should have protected them from this, and part of us searches for an explanation. Maybe there is a lesson, a hidden blessing, or some larger reason we could offer. Our need to make the situation spiritually understandable may arrive before we have let ourselves hear how much it hurts.
Love does not require us to explain God's purposes. We can admit the news is painful and ask what kind of company would be welcome. Practical help, a prayer offered with permission, or an ordinary conversation may each have a place. None has to make the loss reasonable. Staying close to a person whose life has become difficult asks us to surrender the comfortable idea that sound recovery always produces circumstances we know how to explain.
What am I trying to settle for myself when I explain another person's suffering?
God, help me stay near without pretending to know why.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve.