August 21
We Voted Differently
After a close vote, the meeting breaks into smaller conversations. We naturally drift toward people who agreed with us. With them, we can express disappointment without explaining much. Before long, the others become a category: the people who do not understand. A practical disagreement begins hardening into a division about who belongs on which side of the room.
Unity has work to do after a decision as well as before it. We can keep our opinion and still speak warmly to someone who voted differently. We can help carry out a legitimate group decision without pretending it was our first choice, while preserving appropriate ways to raise unresolved concerns. The person across the vote remains a fellow alcoholic. Continuing ordinary friendship interrupts the temptation to make agreement the price of connection after the chairs have been put away.
How does my disagreement affect the warmth I offer when the business meeting ends?
We still have each other's phone numbers.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition One; Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept IV.