August 15
Before Passing It Along
We know two people who might help each other. One has experience the other needs, so we pass along a telephone number and mention a little of the situation. Our intentions are generous. Only afterward do we wonder whether either person wanted that introduction, or whether the details we shared were ours to give.
Putting people in touch can be a useful service. A moment of permission keeps it personal: may I give them your number, and what would you like me to say? Someone may welcome the contact while preferring to explain their own circumstances. Another may be unable to help right now. Asking allows those realities to enter before our enthusiasm makes arrangements for everybody. The wish to be useful does not tell us everything about what another person is ready to share. Ordinary courtesy gives our good intentions a way to respect the people involved.
Whose permission might be missing from an arrangement I am making to help?
An introduction begins with two people, each with a say.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, practicing principles in relationships.