July 28
The Person Leaving Alone
When a speaker finishes, a circle often forms around them. Across the room, somebody folds their meeting schedule and leaves alone. Nothing cruel has happened. People are drawn to a moving story and to friends they know. Yet a newcomer can spend an entire evening among friendly people without anyone actually becoming friendly with them.
Welcome is partly a matter of where our attention goes. We may be eager to speak with the person everyone recognizes and overlook someone who has offered us no reason to notice them. A simple introduction need not become a project or a rescue. It can include asking whether this was their first visit and giving them time to answer. The fellowship we cherish reaches a new person through particular encounters, including the ones that happen after the formal meeting has ended.
Where does my attention go when the meeting ends?
Someone may still be waiting for a first conversation.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Five; Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others.”