July 29
More Than Someone to Help
We learn that a newer member knows how to repair something, writes poems, or has spent years caring for a relative. It can come as a small surprise. We had mainly known their difficulty and our wish to help with it. Without intending disrespect, we had reduced a whole person to the problem that brought them through the door.
A welcome grows deeper when curiosity extends beyond what is wrong. The person receiving help may also have humor, judgment, and experience that enrich our lives. We do not need to search for impressive qualities to justify their place in A.A.; belonging does not depend on having something to trade. But allowing a fuller acquaintance changes the relationship. We may begin to recognize that God has brought us into contact with another person, rather than assigned us an object for our generosity.
What have I yet to learn about someone I mainly think of as needing help?
There is a whole person here.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Three; Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others,” p. 94.