July 27
What Exactly Frightens Me
Uneasiness can be useful information, but it is not always a complete account of what is happening. A stranger's appearance may alarm us. A familiar member's charm may reassure us even when their conduct deserves attention. We bring histories and assumptions into a room, and those can influence which situations we call dangerous and which we explain away.
Discernment asks us to get more specific. Threats, unwanted contact, and intimidation deserve a response. Unfamiliar clothing, an accent, or an awkward manner may ask something else of us. We need not dismiss our instincts to examine them, and nobody owes unsafe closeness as proof of tolerance. The spiritual question includes whether our judgment is resting on actual conduct. We can seek another perspective without handing over responsibility for noticing what is occurring in front of us.
What observed conduct supports my concern, and what am I assuming?
Careful attention can serve both welcome and safety.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Three.