July 26
A Clear Limit, Kindly Said
A member keeps interrupting others. The room grows tense, and nobody wants to embarrass them. We may hope compassion means waiting until the problem disappears. Meanwhile quieter members give up trying to speak. Our reluctance to have one uncomfortable conversation has begun deciding whose experience can be heard. Kind intentions have consequences for people besides the person causing the difficulty.
A group can welcome someone and address their conduct in the same evening. A calm explanation of the meeting's practice gives them something understandable to respond to. It also allows others to keep participating. We may need group conscience, experienced help, and firmer action when safety is involved. What we need not add is contempt. The question of how we behave together can remain separate from a verdict about whether someone is worth helping.
Whose needs go unheard when I avoid setting a necessary limit?
Kindness can speak clearly.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Traditions One and Three.