July 20
The Answer Forming in My Head
Halfway through someone's sentence, an answer arrives in our mind. It is a good answer, perhaps even one that helped us. Now we have two tasks: listen to the rest of what they say and make sure we do not forget our reply. Usually the reply wins. We nod in the right places while waiting for a pause long enough to bring it out.
Listening asks us to risk losing a clever thought. There may be something in the next sentence that changes our understanding altogether. A familiar complaint could conceal a new difficulty; a confident statement may be followed by an admission of doubt. We do not need to empty our minds perfectly. We can notice when we have left the conversation and return. Another person's words deserve a chance to affect us before we decide what ought to come next.
What happens to my listening once I decide I already know the answer?
There is still a sentence to hear.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others,” p. 91.