July 17
Enough of My Story
Identification can happen in a few words. Someone mentions the bargain they made about drinking, and we recognize it immediately. We want to tell them about ours. Soon we are explaining the entire history, including several details that seem necessary only to us. They have become the audience for an account that began as an attempt to help them speak.
Sharing our experience is central to carrying the message. The question is whether our story is making room for theirs. When someone begins opening up, we can leave part of our account untold. We do not lose the connection by listening; we allow it to develop. They may need time to name an experience they have never admitted before. Having something in common gives us a place to begin, without granting us advance knowledge of everything they will say.
How can I recognize when my story has done enough to invite theirs?
They may have more to tell me.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others,” p. 91.