July 16
If the Chairs Were Reversed
Imagine being the one who has finally agreed to meet a sober stranger. We may worry that they know embarrassing things about us already. We may wonder whether they will report our words to our family, pronounce us hopeless, or start explaining God before learning our name. A person offering help can forget how exposed receiving it sometimes feels.
The Big Book invites us to consider how we would want to be approached if our positions were reversed. That thought affects small choices: where we sit, how much we ask, whether we allow a silence. We do have something valuable to share, and we need not hide it. But the other person's dignity belongs in the conversation from the beginning. Remembering our own apprehension may help us become somebody it feels possible to speak with, even when the first words are uncertain.
What would make this conversation easier if I were the one being approached?
We can meet on level ground.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others,” pp. 90–91.