July 15
Replaying Every Word
We replay the visit on the way home. Should we have said more about the Steps? Less about ourselves? Did that last comment sound impatient? Concern can keep a conversation going in our heads long after the other person has gone to bed. We begin treating every word as if it might determine whether another alcoholic finds recovery.
Our words matter, and an honest review may show us something to amend. But there is a point where review becomes a claim to more power than we have. The person we visited brings a whole life to what they heard. Others may speak with them. They may remember one small thing and forget the passage we considered most important. We can ask God to use whatever was helpful and show us our part without requiring us to supervise everything that follows.
Where does useful reflection turn into taking responsibility for another person's response?
The conversation has a life beyond my memory of it.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others,” pp. 94–96.