July 14
Before I Correct the Words
During a meeting, someone uses a phrase we would never use. Perhaps they explain a Step awkwardly or confuse a familiar saying with something in the book. Our attention moves instantly to the error. We stop hearing the fear or gratitude they were trying to describe. By the time they finish, we know how to correct their language and have forgotten why they were speaking.
Accuracy matters, especially when a misunderstanding could mislead someone seeking help. Still, there is a difference between making the message clearer and making a person feel small. Timing, privacy, and a willingness to ask what they meant can change the whole exchange. We may discover that a clumsy sentence carried an honest experience. A pause gives our concern for the words a chance to include concern for the person who risked saying them aloud.
What do I miss when correcting the wording becomes my first concern?
The person deserves to be heard, too.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others,” pp. 91, 95.