June 23
Partly Right
The criticism contains an exaggeration. We certainly did not interrupt everyone, and we can name two occasions when we listened patiently. With that established, it is tempting to dismiss the whole complaint. Meanwhile, there may have been several interruptions worth acknowledging. Finding a flaw in the accusation has spared us looking at the part that was accurate.
Inventory does not require accepting somebody else's entire account. It does ask for enough honesty to separate an unfair description from a useful observation. We might say that we remember things differently and still recognize something we would like to change. This is awkward work because our pride prefers a clean verdict: either they are right about everything or we owe no consideration at all. Real conversations seldom divide so neatly. The other person's overstatement does not remove our opportunity to learn, nor does our admission make every charge against us true.
What part of an imperfect criticism remains worth examining?
The accurate part still deserves attention.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Ten.