May 17
Leaving the Conversation
There are conversations in which staying longer does nobody any good. The insults keep coming, the volume rises, and every attempt to explain becomes more material for the argument. We may hesitate to leave because we have heard so much about patience. Perhaps a more spiritual person would find the perfect sentence and calm everything down.
Patience does not give us power over another person's behavior. We may need distance, help, or a firm end to the exchange. What remains ours is the spirit in which we act, although even that may take prayer and time. We can leave without adding a final insult. We can seek protection without inventing further charges. Understanding another person's pain need not erase the facts of what is happening. Compassion has room for the people affected by the behavior, including us. Sometimes the useful conversation can happen only after there is safety and quiet.
What would a clear limit look like without a parting blow?
I am allowed to step away.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Ten, discussion of restraint and courtesy.