May 16
A Useful Objection
The person questioning our proposal has an unfortunate manner. They sound impatient, perhaps even pleased to have found a problem. We could spend the whole discussion explaining why they should speak differently. Meanwhile, the problem they noticed remains on the table. It might save the group money or prevent a promise we cannot keep.
Good judgment requires more than liking the messenger. We can object to discourtesy and still examine the facts being offered. This takes a particular humility: accepting help from someone who has made it difficult to feel grateful. Their criticism need not become wholly correct for part of it to matter. Nor must we surrender the proposal to acknowledge a weakness. A better plan may emerge if we can separate our bruised pride from the practical question. Even an awkward contribution can belong in the group's consideration.
What useful information might I lose by concentrating on how it was delivered?
I can consider the point without approving the manner.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept IX, “Leadership in A.A.: Ever a Vital Need.”