May 11
Their Own Friends
A friend begins spending time with people we do not know. We are pleased that life is opening up for them, or we would like to be. Beneath that good intention, there may be a question we would rather not admit: will there still be a place for us? We may become critical of the new friends before we have even met them.
Affection can quietly acquire an expectation of first place. Then another person's growing life begins to look like our loss. We need not pretend that changing friendships are painless. We can grieve a shift in closeness and speak honestly about missing someone. But their freedom to form other connections does not have to become evidence against the friendship we have shared. With God's help, we may find a way to remain a friend while allowing the shape of that friendship to change.
What am I afraid another person's freedom will cost me?
Missing someone need not become a claim upon them.
For the A.A. nerds: As Bill Sees It, No. 230, “Love Everybody?”