May 10
Enough Reassurance
Someone tells us that things are all right between us, and for a little while we believe them. Then the doubt returns. We ask again, perhaps in different words. Eventually they sound tired, which seems to confirm the very thing we feared. The reassurance we wanted has become harder for either person to give or receive.
Fear does not make us undeserving of love. It may mean that love from one person cannot do all the work we have assigned it. A sponsor, a meeting, an honest prayer, and our own willingness to tolerate some uncertainty can share that burden. We are allowed to ask for reassurance. We can also begin noticing when we have received an answer and are demanding that it produce a feeling it cannot maintain. That recognition can be tender, without another round of blame directed at ourselves.
When does my request for reassurance stop being something another person can answer?
Care can reach me through more than one person.
For the A.A. nerds: As Bill Sees It, No. 288, “Emotional Sobriety.”