April 28
A Better Time
There are sound reasons to wait before making an amends. There are also reasons that improve every time we explain them. The person is busy this month. We are not feeling especially steady. A more natural opportunity would be preferable. Nothing in the explanation sounds dishonest, but several suitable opportunities have passed while our account of the timing has grown more elaborate.
Prudence is easier to recognize when somebody else is allowed to question it. We can tell a sponsor what makes us hesitant and include the details that weaken our case for waiting. Perhaps delay really does protect another person. Perhaps the discomfort we hoped would disappear is simply part of facing what happened. We need guidance suited to the circumstances, not pressure to make a dramatic gesture. Still, willingness eventually asks something of our conduct, and an indefinitely improved explanation will not do the repair for us.
What part of my reason for waiting would I rather not have questioned?
An honest account includes the chances already passed.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Nine, pp. 85–87.