April 24
What Still Needs Paying
A person hears our apology and responds generously. They are glad we are sober. They wish us well. Walking away, we feel lighter, and it becomes surprisingly easy to forget the unpaid money or unfinished obligation that brought us there. Their kindness has given us relief. Without quite deciding to, we begin treating that relief as evidence that the whole matter has been settled.
A warm reception does not necessarily cancel a debt. What remains owed deserves a clear understanding, rather than an assumption favorable to us. If full repayment is beyond our means, an honest arrangement gives both people something definite. Keeping it may be less stirring than the first conversation. There are no new declarations to make, only the next payment and accurate word about what is possible. Receiving forgiveness and meeting an obligation are different experiences; we need not ask one to stand in for the other.
What unfinished responsibility might I be overlooking because someone received me kindly?
The agreed payment still matters.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “Into Action,” p. 78; Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Nine, pp. 84–85.