April 19
A Fair Complaint
We may hesitate to raise a legitimate concern because we think forgiveness requires letting the matter drop. Money is still owed, a promise remains broken, or behavior continues to affect other people. Then resentment grows beneath our attempt to look peaceful. We have confused releasing hostility with giving up any voice in what happens next, and the silence is becoming harder to sustain.
A fair complaint can be made without trying to humiliate the person who receives it. We can describe what occurred, ask for a reasonable response, and seek help where appropriate. Prayer may steady the manner in which we proceed without deciding the outcome in advance. Our motives will probably remain mixed. We can keep examining them while addressing the actual problem. The wish to become free of hatred does not require indifference to facts, responsibilities, or the well-being of people still being affected.
How might I address a real wrong without adding a wish to wound?
The facts need no extra cruelty.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Ten, pp. 91–93.