February 27
Hearing It Aloud
Inside our head, the explanation is complete. We had no choice, anyone would have reacted the same way, and the other person should have known better. Then we tell the story to someone we trust. Halfway through, a sentence sounds different aloud. We hear an omission or an excuse before our listener says a word.
This is one reason private reflection sometimes needs company. We are capable of arranging an account so smoothly that we no longer notice what it protects. A trusted person need not act as prosecutor or agree with everything we say. Their patient presence can help us stay with the uncomfortable detail instead of moving quickly past it. We may discover less guilt than we expected, or a responsibility we have been avoiding. Either way, we have brought our understanding into a conversation where it can change. That is a different kind of relief from persuading someone that we were right all along.
What changes in my account when I let another person hear it?
There is time to finish the part I nearly skipped.
For the A.A. nerds: As Bill Sees It, No. 17, “Toward Honesty.”