February 9
Enough Light for This
An apology seems plainly owed, but we keep considering the larger relationship. Will apologizing encourage more demands? What if the person misunderstands? Should we first settle everything that led to the argument? The questions may have merit. They can also become a crowd that blocks the one thing already clear: we said something we know was unkind.
Guidance does not always arrive as a complete account of what will happen next. We may have enough understanding for a limited, honest action while larger matters remain unresolved. Admitting an unkind remark need not decide the future of the relationship or assign every portion of blame. It can simply acknowledge what we know. There is care in seeking further counsel about difficult circumstances, and there is care in refusing to let those circumstances excuse an obvious responsibility forever. The next truthful sentence may be smaller than the whole problem.
What clear responsibility am I postponing until every surrounding question is settled?
This one sentence does not have to solve everything.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Three, pp. 40–41.