January 16
What I Keep in Reserve
We can agree with recovery in general while keeping one matter carefully outside the conversation. The resentment is justified. The secret is harmless. The relationship is too complicated for anyone else to understand. We may be sincerely willing in many areas, which makes the exception easier to overlook. It seems small beside everything we have already changed.
Surrender becomes personal at the edge of that exception. We need not force a dramatic disclosure or pretend we know the right action before seeking guidance. We might simply become able to admit that this is the place where we want help least. Such an admission changes the conversation with God. We are no longer presenting a willingness that excludes the very thing troubling us. There can be relief in letting the truth be incomplete and uncomfortable, rather than maintaining a polished account of how completely we have let go.
What exception do I protect inside my willingness?
God, here is the exception I keep protecting.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Three.