January 14
After Doing My Part
We tell the truth, make the application, offer the amends, or ask for help. Then comes a stretch of time in which we can do very little. This can feel more difficult than taking the action itself. We knew what responsibility looked like while there was something to complete. Now the result is beyond our reach.
It is tempting to judge the action entirely by what follows. A refusal can make an honest effort seem foolish; an easy success can make a questionable choice seem wise. Recovery offers another way to consider our conduct. We can ask whether it was honest, considerate, and appropriate to what we knew, while remaining willing to learn from the result. This leaves room for disappointment without declaring the whole effort a mistake. Our part mattered, even though it was never the only part of the situation.
How am I judging a responsible action by an outcome I could not control?
A disappointing result need not erase an honest effort.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Three, pp. 40–41.