December 13
What Can Be Done
The decision has been made, and we dislike it. We cannot undo the conversation or make the other person choose differently. That much may require acceptance. But there could still be a call to make, information to request, or a reasonable response to offer. When we put the entire situation under the heading of powerlessness, those remaining possibilities disappear with it.
Acceptance becomes more useful when we are precise about what is beyond our control. The past is fixed; our response is not entirely fixed. Another person's choice is theirs; our own conduct still needs attention. We may need help distinguishing a constructive effort from another attempt to force the answer we wanted. An honest inventory can show us both the fight we are prolonging and the responsibility we are avoiding. Neither surrender nor action settles every situation simply by being named a spiritual principle.
What part of this situation is settled, and what part still calls for my judgment?
One closed door does not decide every next step.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Ten, pp. 88–91; Step Eleven.