December 4
I Cannot Afford That Tonight
Friends suggest going out after the meeting. We want their company, but the place they choose costs more than we can comfortably spend. We might invent another engagement or go along and worry through the meal. Saying that money is tight can feel more exposing than sharing about some of the worst experiences of our lives.
Our financial circumstances are facts we can acknowledge without presenting them as a verdict on our recovery. We need not explain every debt or ask anyone to pay. A simple statement may lead to a different plan; it may mean joining them another evening. Either way, we have let people meet us where we actually are. Learning to live within our means includes these small social moments. A friendship worth having should not require a performance of prosperity, though it may take practice to trust others with the truth.
Where am I spending or withdrawing to conceal a limit I could state honestly?
Company matters more than appearing able to afford everything.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, pp. 120–122.