December 2
A Chance to Say Thank You
Someone thanks us for helping, and we rush to explain that it was nothing. We may think humility requires this. But the other person has offered something sincere, and now they are arguing for the value of what they received. Our discomfort with praise has become another part of the conversation they must manage. Perhaps receiving thanks feels more exposing than giving help.
Service without a price does not forbid gratitude. The freedom lies in giving the other person room to respond as they wish, including with appreciation. We can receive a thank-you without turning it into proof of our importance or refusing the person's account of their own experience. A simple acknowledgment may honor both the kindness and its meaning to them. The exchange can end there, without a claim on future affection. Giving and receiving both ask us to loosen our control over how we appear.
What makes it difficult for me to let someone's gratitude stand?
Their thanks can be received simply.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, pp. 106, 116.