November 21
More Than Getting Along
Keeping a group comfortable can feel like preserving unity. We know which subjects cause tension, whose objections take the longest, and what can be settled before certain people arrive. The meeting runs smoothly. Yet smoothness may have been purchased by leaving someone outside the conversation. We might sincerely believe we are protecting the group from another difficult evening.
Unity asks more of us than affection for people who agree. A fellow member's opportunity to participate matters even when their participation changes the mood. Concept XII's attention to full discussion can make us reconsider what we mean by getting along. There are practical limits, and no meeting can continue forever. Still, convenience is a poor reason to make decisions around somebody. Recovery may help us bear the discomfort of a real conversation, where fellowship includes differences we have not arranged away.
Whose absence has made agreement easier, and what does that tell me?
A less comfortable meeting may include more of us.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept XII, Warranty Four.