October 26
Letting the Change Show
Halfway through explaining our position, we hear ourselves use an argument that no longer seems sound. Someone's question has reached us. We could admit it now, but people remember how strongly we spoke. There is a temptation to soften our position gradually and hope no one notices that we have changed our mind.
Step Ten makes room for prompt admission when we are wrong. In a shared decision, a plain acknowledgment can save everybody a good deal of work. Others no longer need to argue against a position we have privately abandoned. The person whose concern helped us knows it was actually heard. We do not need a dramatic confession or a speech about our newfound humility. We can say which part makes sense to us now. A group learns something about safety when a member changes course and remains entirely welcome at the table.
What am I ready to acknowledge without protecting the appearance of consistency?
I am allowed to say that the question changed my thinking.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Ten; Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept V.