September 30
A Slogan Between Us
Someone raises a concern about how they were treated, and a familiar phrase appears: principles before personalities. Perhaps it is meant to calm things down. Yet the person may hear that their hurt is an inconvenience, or that mentioning a member's conduct is itself unspiritual. A phrase meant to protect the Fellowship can become a quick way to end an uncomfortable conversation.
The people involved are part of the matter before us. We cannot consider fairness while refusing to hear what happened to someone. Principles may help us discuss conduct carefully, avoid gossip, and seek a proportionate response. They offer no reason to make a person disappear from their own experience. Humility might mean admitting that our first wish was for quiet. A more useful peace may require listening to something we would rather not know, with enough care to distinguish a concern from an attack.
When have I used a spiritual phrase to close a conversation that needed care?
There is time to hear what happened.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Twelve; Twelve Concepts for World Service, Concept V.