September 29
The Rule We Want Changed
A shared agreement feels sensible until it inconveniences someone we love. Then we can explain why this occasion is different. Their intentions were good. They have done so much for the group. Surely no one wants to embarrass them over a small matter. We may be making a compassionate judgment, or we may be granting a privilege we would resent if another person received it.
Principles before personalities asks something of our loyalties. Care for a friend includes the willingness to consider their conduct without automatically excusing it. Fairness also requires room for circumstances; treating people with equal regard does not mean refusing to understand them. The question is whether we would offer the same consideration to someone outside our circle. Prayer and an honest conversation can help when friendship makes that difficult to see. A principle gains credibility when it applies close to home.
What consideration would I offer if this person were not my friend?
My affection does not answer the question of fairness.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Twelve.