September 13
Still an Alcoholic
Years in A.A. can give us a great deal to discuss. We know the history, have opinions about service, and can explain why certain decisions were made. None of that is wasted. Yet a person quietly frightened by their own drinking may be waiting to hear something much more familiar: whether anyone here has felt the way they feel.
Our knowledge serves its purpose when it helps us reach another alcoholic. It can also become a comfortable place to hide the parts of our experience that still feel tender. We may prefer sounding informed to remembering how lost we were. Tradition Five brings us back to a gift that does not require an impressive vocabulary. We know something about needing help and beginning to receive it. That experience can remain available, even after we have learned enough to make a very polished speech.
What part of my experience might help someone feel less alone?
Someone is still waiting to hear what happened.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Five, pp. 150–151.