September 12
An Honest Limit
Saying yes can feel like the safest answer. Nobody is disappointed with us yet, and we get a brief sense of being useful. The difficulty arrives later, when two promises need us at the same hour. Then someone else discovers the limit we were unwilling to mention. Our wish to be generous has left them without the help they were counting on.
A.A.'s singleness of purpose suggests a question about the promises we make personally, even though our lives contain many responsibilities. What can we actually give? An honest limit may leave a need unanswered, and that can hurt. But it allows another person to make plans based on what is true. We need not offer a long defense of our importance or exhaustion. There can be kindness in a plain answer given while there is still time to find another way.
Where has an easy yes become a difficult promise?
The truth about my availability is useful information.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Five.