August 13
The Interrupted Plan
We leave the meeting with a clear plan for the rest of the evening. At the door, someone asks whether we have a few minutes. Our answer begins forming before we know what they need. The evening we pictured feels like something already owed to us, and this person has arrived to interfere with it. We may be surprised by how quickly irritation appears.
Availability involves enough attention to discover what is actually being asked. We might have time for the conversation; we might have another responsibility we truly need to keep. Either way, we can answer a person instead of reacting to an interruption. A definite offer of another time is more honest than listening resentfully while edging toward the door. The principles meet us in the gap between the evening we imagined and the human need that has just become visible.
What changes when I hear the request before defending my plan?
This person deserves an answer given with attention.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others,” pp. 96–97.