July 22
The Familiar Voice
An old friend begins telling us what is wrong, and we recognize the opening. The same job, the same argument, the same worry. We assume we have heard this already. Perhaps we have heard much of it. Familiarity can make us efficient listeners who know exactly where to nod and when to suggest the thing we suggested last time.
People do repeat themselves, especially around something painful. Yet a repeated story may contain one unfamiliar admission. They might be ready to consider their part, or finally say how frightened they are. If we listen only to the repetition, we can miss the change. We are allowed to be honest about our limits and the weariness of circling the same subject. We can also remember that someone once needed patience while our own understanding arrived by very small degrees.
What might be new in a story I believe I have heard before?
Familiar words can carry a new admission.
For the A.A. nerds: Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others”; Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve.