July 11
A Life They Can See
People may be curious about sobriety without wanting a presentation about it. They notice that we admit a mistake, that an ordinary disappointment no longer ends in a disappearance, or that we can laugh at ourselves. None of these moments proves we have become wonderfully spiritual. They do make recovery a little less abstract to someone who has only known our promises.
Attraction does not require us to stage a flawless life. Pretending to be serene can leave other people wondering whether they would have to pretend as well. There is something approachable about a sober person who is still human and willing to be honest about it. When a question comes, we have experience to share. Until then, we can let our conduct have its own effect without watching constantly to see whether anybody has noticed.
What might someone learn about recovery from the way I handle an ordinary disappointment?
An honest life leaves something visible.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Tradition Eleven; Alcoholics Anonymous, “Working With Others,” p. 93.