July 7
The Story Is Theirs
After a helpful conversation, we feel encouraged. At the next meeting we want to tell someone about it: how desperate the person was, what we said, how their expression changed. We may intend to celebrate recovery. Yet the details that make our account moving belong partly to someone who trusted us during a difficult hour.
Service does not automatically give us a story to tell. We may need guidance from a sponsor about how to help, and an appropriate private conversation can serve that purpose. Recounting another person's trouble to demonstrate our usefulness is a different matter. The distinction may be clearest in what we hope to receive from the listener. Giving without demanding a reward includes letting some moments remain unreported. Their value does not depend on becoming evidence that we are doing well. Another alcoholic's confidence is something to hold with care, even when the news seems hopeful.
What am I seeking when I want to retell someone else's vulnerable moment?
Some good news belongs to the person living it.
For the A.A. nerds: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Twelve, pp. 106, 109–110.